MY ANGER WONT CONTROL ME .........

The next time you are tempted to say something hurtful to someone just because you’re angry, you might want to stop and remember this story: it’s a keeper.

 Read it here.

WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS LATE ?

For most of us, whether or not we are timely is usually considered a character trait. You are either punctual, just a bit late, consistently late or completely off the boards missing events totally. Fact of the matter is, timeliness is a dying art these days. Etiquette guides will tell you that arriving late is not only rude, it makes a statement about how you feel about the importance of an event or the individuals involved. Real life tells us that no matter how hard we try, sometimes we are late. Have you ever noticed that when you are late, you feel anxious? For those who are always late, this can mean just a constant level of tension during transitions.

IS MY RELATIONSHIP WORTH FIGHTING FOR ?

I was talking to a friend the other night about his relationship.  Three months in the relationship and they have passed through the initial Honeymoon Phase. Honeymoon Phase is the time when everything is perfect and easy and it’s hard to imagine what mythical troubles could ever possibly emerge over the horizon to muddy the shiny new relationship.
But, at some point, life with all its messy, complicated, annoying little realities eventually bursts the perfect little bubble and then the real work of building and maintaining a relationship begins.  And that’s if you’re lucky.

YEEES !!!!!!!!!! I STOPPED NAGGING

If the charge is nagging, I plead guilty  and I admit to being a repeat offender. I'm not the only woman who's guilty of repeating herself again and again.  I've been nagging my husband of nearly four years from day one. Before we moved in to our home, he had never lived on his own. I felt it was my duty to school him on household tasks. And when they were overlooked, the nagging began.

STRICTLY FOR US ...... THE SINGLE BABES

Got the following from a friend's page on Facebook YOUNG, MARRIED AND LOVING IT.  I feel I should share with my good friends so that they can help someone someone by sharing this also . I read and I love it .

Getting Married: How Do You Know for Sure?

Always a bridesmaid…that is what I thought I would be. As I watched friend after friend walk down the aisle and say, “I do” to their prince charming, I wondered if I would ever be a bride. I had dated several guys who wanted to become more serious, but when they would start talking about marriage I would start backing away – quickly. Marriage was a huge commitment, and I wasn’t about to take it lightly. In all of my relationships I had never felt like I knew for sure that the guy was the one.

How do you know that for sure? I would often ask my friends or spiritual mentors. The reply was always the same, “You just know.” Thanks for clearing that up for me.

What does that mean anyway? You just know. I know a lot of things until I change my mind about them. I just knew that I loved the comforter and pillows that I picked out for my bed – until a year later when I decided I needed a whole new look. I know this is trivial compared to marriage, but the logic seemed the same to me. Even if I was sure now that this person was the one I should marry, would I still feel that way in two years? What about in 20 years? I was signing up to be with the person for the rest of my life; I had to be sure.

In my case, I already knew Matt quite well. We had attended college together and had become good friends. We even went on a couple dates, but I was never interested in anything more than friendship. But eight years later that friendship had turned into something more, and we began dating. However, I still wasn’t sure I wanted to marry him.

DO ALL MEN CHEAT ?

 I've been with my boyfriend for 5years .We've been 2gether since we were 21 ( if u calculate my age , u r on your own ) and I  KNOW for a fact he has not been faithful for ALL the 5 years,there is no way. I have never fought him for not picking up his calls , girls calling him , coming home late, etc. But in the back of my head, I feel like there is no way he could have been faithful and this smooth all these years . Can I be wrong or right ? 

WHY ARE WE NOT PRACTISING THE SAME RELIGION?

Foluso and Quadri  have been dating for seven years. They did not consider their backgrounds, all they wanted was to be joined as man and wife. Eventually they did, their sweet love became bitter. Usman wanted  his children to practise Islam, while Foluso wanted Christianity. They dragged this for years until Foluso couldn’t take it anymore, she moved out. The once upon a time love song ended with a dirge .

WHY GIVE UP ?

I have a good friend who jumps from idea to idea trying to become a millionaire. He wants the fastest path to riches. He gets all excited about his latest idea but as soon as it becomes work, he stops, and looks for “a better way”. This is a sure-fire way to fail… You have to constantly water your seeds! You have to prepare and work your fields for the seeds to take, to grow strong roots, and produce crops. You can’t just go around scattering seeds hoping something will grow. Farmers don’t operate businesses that way, why would you expect your finances or business ideas to work any differently. I have heard that to become “an overnight success” it takes at least two years! You grind it out, put blood, sweat, and tears in to it, and then just maybe it may lead to something worthwhile. But quitting? It’s not an option! Too often people quit right before their big break was about to take place. They miss the blessings God had in store. Wars are exhausting — especially long ones. That’s why you are often tired. Most soldiers who experience the fierceness of combat want to get out of it. That’s why you feel urges to escape or surrender. That’s why there are times you’re tempted to give up. 

NEED TO SLAP MY BOSS

I have worked at my place of employment for just over a year and a half, and my boss is ....... well I wouldn't want even anyone that has wronged me to work with this person. I have been called stupid, retarded and incompetent, I have been belittled and disrespected in front of other employees. Now, I'm not saying that I'm the smartest person but i don't believe anyone deserves to be treated this way.

JOINT ACCOUNT ROCKS ............

Love is blind, especially when it comes to finance. However, money has always been a discipline that requires both eyes wide open. Many couples who are more caught up in the throes of their new relationship than in planning realistically for their future open joint accounts, only to find out later that they have put themselves in a disadvantageous situation. And contrary to popular belief, relationships do not have to sour for a joint account to be a bad idea, although, of course, the joint account does make breaking up even harder to do.

IS ORAL SEX A SIN ?

“My partner and I love the Lord with all our hearts and we don't want to do anything to sin against Him. Our question is in the area of oral sex. Is it scripturally wrong? Some have tried to make a biblical issue out of what parts of the body a married couple can and cannot kiss. In their minds, there is only one biblical form of sexual expression in marriage, sexual intercourse. They attempt to defend their viewpoint on biblical grounds—trying to make it into a holiness issue. However, is there anywhere in the Scripture putting such limits on the sexual relationship?  It is important to remember that God created sex to be a beautiful expression of love. When the husband or the wife does not feel that sex is a "beautiful expression of love," then changes need to be made in that couple's sex life. Evidentially, the actions are not mutually beneficial to each person. Nothing in the Bible says that oral sex is a sin; however it may not be appropriate for every couple. I AM YET TO FIND IT ANYWAY.

TRUTH HURTS, LIES HURT .................

Have you ever watched the early auditions on American Idol? I know, Painful! It begs the question, why didn’t any family or friends tell those poor souls that they can’t sing!? Why must Simon be the one to break the news?

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where your boss is obviously not saying the truth and you dare not say what you know?

How about in your marriage? Are you totally honest with your spouse? Your expenditures, your past, your current extra-curricular activities. Why does it seem that we have so many secrets?

Would anyone want to hear?

·         You are not as attractive as you used to be.

·         I sometimes think about someone else during sex.

·         I sometimes wonder why we are together.

·         I have a little crush on someone at work.

WHY AM I STILL SINGLE ?

It is the number one question that singles get asked, especially if you are over the age of 30: why are you still single? It has many variations, sometimes phrased as a comment, rather than a question – “I can’t believe a nice girl/guy like you is still single,” followed by the more direct and probing: “When do you think you’ll get married? “As mature singles, we ask the exact same question –but not to each other. Rather, we ask ourselves in times of loneliness or frustration: “Why am I still single?”

GENOTYPE OR LOVE …WHICH COMES FIRST?

We fell in love when were younger. We were two love birds just like Romeo and Juliet. Couldn’t spend a day without each other .Whao! Love is a beautiful thing. The feeling can’t be described. He’s a good man; he is a very handsome, tall and disciplined guy. He is many things most girls would want their man to be. We are matured enough to get married since that has always been our dream.  The GENOTYPE issue came up. “For two young people working towards marriage, it is crucial for them to know their genotype BEFORE the happy event. It is very important for them to understand what they are getting into. We went for complete blood test , every other things were ok except for the GENOTYPE which is ''AS'' for both of us.  

SELF ESTEEM

Recently, I was romantically involved with a man I enjoyed immensely. Little by little, I began to fear FEELING GOOD. I started to wonder, “This relationship feels amazing, what will I do when this ends?” So, as a way to control the issue I found a way that I would self-sabotage the experience by rejecting him before he could reject me. He would tell me that he was falling in love with me and I would just blow it off and say to myself, “He can’t be serious, this is just something he is saying to play me. Once I let my guard down and believe him then I will be vulnerable and he can hurt me. So, it’s better that I just keep a little emotional distance so it won’t hurt as much when it happens.”

"FOR I HATE DIVORCE," SAYS THE LORD.

"If things don't work out we can always get a divorce." All too often these days we find that this is the unspoken attitude of persons contemplating marriage. The "old-fashioned" ideas of "for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part" don't carry much weight in our society any more.  I tell my friends that divorce is not an option for me but they always tell me “wait until you get there “and I pray never to get to the point of considering a divorce.

WHO IS YOUR FRIEND?

Children who meet for the first time will often go away after 5 minutes of playing in the sandbox and say something like, "My friend, the boy I was playing with just now, I think he is very nice". It's funny how children like you as long as you don't hit them and you agree to play with them... those are the only requirements to be their friend. As we grow older we complicate everything with more expectations and demands. Nowadays, friends seem to be the ones that will stab other friends in the back, be the ones that will steal and take from a friend. Friends are the same people that will go behind your back and tell everything you confided in them about. Friends use to be the one you could turn to no matter what and know that there are no judgments passed between the two of you. This subject is important to me because I have some friends that mean me no good and I have some friends that would do or say anything to help me become a better person. What kind of friends do you have?

SO YOU EARN MORE THAN HIM ……

I know when we get married my money becomes our money and his money becomes our money, but what do you do when you make more. Money is a touchy enough subject for people in love and there are plenty of chances for complication. Statistically speaking, one spouse will always make more than the other since the odds aren’t exactly in favour of a couple making identical salaries. That being said, I question my own difficulties with being the primary breadwinner.

LOVE THEM NOW ..................

On October 10th 1992, my father died. I left him at home looking healthy .I was far away in boarding school  when I heard he passed on .He was my best friend , my life line . His memory  stays fresh in my head . I love him so much . He thought me how to be mischievous and that is who I am today .

BAD BREATH

My mom always told me to stay out of online chat rooms.. But like every other babes, I did it anyway . I have been in contact with Tunde  for the past 18 months, chatting online. .  A few months ago we met, and really hit it off. I have met him a few times since, he's lovely, nice personality, great sense of humor and we have a lot in common..he's polite and is a real gentleman..I had initially thought that I was imagining his bad breath.... The last visit which was a few days ago, left me quite repelled as he seems to have a serious halitosis problem that he is not aware of. The sad thing is that other than that, he is absolutely wonderful, but I really feel that I will be unable to go on with a person who has such bad breath. I asked myself if I am being too choosy or if it can be managed . Does he even know he has this problem  ? .Hmmmm

I discussed with a couple of friends and find below what they said to me

LIFE AFTER RAPE

 

I was only 20 years old and just wanted to have a good night with my mates. We were having a pretty good time and went to the club at about 10:30, as usual. At about 1 am, I got into an argument with my best mate about her boyfriend and went outside the club . This was when my attacker came across me sitting on the edge of the pavement. He came up to me and asked me why I was upset. He seemed nice enough and calmed me down: I'd got myself really wound up. Afterwards, I always wondered why my judgement was so bad, he seemed so nice.He said he'd help me find the rest of my friends and  I went off with him. After all I had no reason not to trust him. He led me to an uncompleted building saying he could hear voices and I wondered where we were going. I got a bit upset and he said it was OK and kissed me. I was OK at this point, a little wary I suppose, but then he started getting more intense and I started panicking. I knew from then what he was going to do. The next thing I know I was telling him "no" and getting more and more upset until I was physically pushing him away from me. He was too strong for me and I was extremely distressed at this point. He then raped me, holding me down. 

RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE INGREDIENTS.......let's discuss pls

What do you consider the most important ingredient in a relationship/marriage to make it work ? In my opinion ,a good relationship is virtually impossible without good communication. It is important for couples to realize that whatever you plan, think or feel, it will directly or indirectly affect your mate. One rule of life is that whether it is business or personal, knowledge is power. The more you know, the better you can prepare yourself to act accordingly. The most important quality in your relationship is how well you and your mate communicate and relate with each other. Effective communication is the lifeline for every relationship. Communication means talking, listening, reading body language, understanding, learning each other's sexual behavior and caring about what the other is saying. Also, for a relationship to grow, couples should share activities and interests that are both meaningful and enjoyable to each of them. If a partner is always giving in to what the other wants to do, this will eventually lead to feelings of resentment. It is true that opposites attract, but you and your mate must have enough qualities in common to sustain a long-term meaningful relationship.

WHEN LOVE TURNS TO HATE .

I have been in and out of relationships  .Breaking up with a partner can sometimes be traumatic. Even though you saw it coming or made it happen yourself, you may not be ready for the impact of the break-up. Suddenly you are alone and no longer part of a couple. It feels like a giant missile burst up on your life crushing your dreams and aspirations, leaving your daily existence a strange and difficult place to be.  So when I hear 'I wish him dead, "I wish him dead, I hope he dies soon', I do understand where that's coming from. But in all honesty many don't mean what they utter but the anger, hurt, insecurity, sadness, depression, self-revulsion and rage. in them that talk.

WHY IS PATIENCE A VIRTUE?

                                             

Suppose a person awaits the arrival of a friend she last saw in her teen age from out of town at a train station, and all of a sudden discovers that the friend's arrival would take longer than anticipated due to unforeseen but inevitable reasons, the person sits patiently at the station longing for the reunion and patiently distracts herself with reading a newspaper,  a few peeps at other people waiting at the station or simply reminiscing and hoping to share such fond memories with the friend as soon as she hops off the train.