TRUTH HURTS, LIES HURT .................

Have you ever watched the early auditions on American Idol? I know, Painful! It begs the question, why didn’t any family or friends tell those poor souls that they can’t sing!? Why must Simon be the one to break the news?

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where your boss is obviously not saying the truth and you dare not say what you know?

How about in your marriage? Are you totally honest with your spouse? Your expenditures, your past, your current extra-curricular activities. Why does it seem that we have so many secrets?

Would anyone want to hear?

·         You are not as attractive as you used to be.

·         I sometimes think about someone else during sex.

·         I sometimes wonder why we are together.

·         I have a little crush on someone at work.

 

Lovers often lie to each other about these types of issues and we are happier and feel closer to our romantic partners when we do not have to acknowledge such painful, hurtful truths. In fact, we like it when our spouses hide unpleasant facts from us.  As long as we are not aware that our partners are hiding things, ignorance can be blissful.

There are so many opportunities to tell the truth; yet so many challenges in doing so. It really comes down to the fact that the truth hurts, in so many ways, but it will still set you free.While telling the truth in a romantic relationship can often lead to a lot of hurt, pain, and suffering - deception is not a luxury, sometimes lying is absolutely necessary. No one could stand to hear everything.  And deception is often required because it allows people to share with lives with each other while avoiding difficult issues which cannot always be discussed away. For instance, deception can sometimes be useful when romantic partners ask:

·         What are you thinking about?

·         Are you attracted to him/her?

·         Did you miss me?

·         Where were you?

·         Why didn't you answer the phone?

·         Why are you so quiet?

·         Is there anything wrong?

           Have you ever thought about being with someone else?

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WHY DOES THE TRUTH HURT?

The truth hurts because we fear accountability. If we commit to truth we will face both the opportunity for rejection and failure. Living in grey areas makes it easier to shrug off challenges.

It hurts because we fear conflict. People avoid direct conversation because we lie to be liked… I mean we like to be liked. That’s right; we lie to be liked because we like to be liked. Does that mean you intentionally speak falsehoods? No. More likely you accept falsehood and fail to call them out. Because to call someone out means they may reject you or worse yet, attack you personally – because if you can’t discredit the facts you can attempt to discredit the Speaker.

It hurts because we probably don’t care enough. It’s my observation that we don’t care enough about the truth or about telling it. An “it’s all good” or “everything’s relative” attitude is pervasive and ignorant to the reality that there are absolutes and rights/wrongs. Likewise, if we don’t care about truth we won’t care about telling it.

 

Do you know who you are? What you are all about? Where you are going? If you can answer these questions in the affirmative then you are likely much closer to telling and living the truth on a daily basis. It’s been said that you have to have a bigger “yes” than a “no” – in this case if you know the truth and live the truth you’re more likely to call out the falsehoods of life.

Commit to living truth. Compromising your ethics or living in fear will lead you to bondage.. You may have to deal with consequences of your mistakes or of someone else’s, but the truth is always liberating.

 Make no mistake about it, telling the truth is necessary . But, always telling the truth often leads to more problems than good. Dont quote me