IS ORAL SEX A SIN ?

“My partner and I love the Lord with all our hearts and we don't want to do anything to sin against Him. Our question is in the area of oral sex. Is it scripturally wrong? Some have tried to make a biblical issue out of what parts of the body a married couple can and cannot kiss. In their minds, there is only one biblical form of sexual expression in marriage, sexual intercourse. They attempt to defend their viewpoint on biblical grounds—trying to make it into a holiness issue. However, is there anywhere in the Scripture putting such limits on the sexual relationship?  It is important to remember that God created sex to be a beautiful expression of love. When the husband or the wife does not feel that sex is a "beautiful expression of love," then changes need to be made in that couple's sex life. Evidentially, the actions are not mutually beneficial to each person. Nothing in the Bible says that oral sex is a sin; however it may not be appropriate for every couple. I AM YET TO FIND IT ANYWAY.

 

Sex was created by God himself. Sexual intercourse was meant to occur between a male and female as detailed in the Bible in Genesis 2:24. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." Therefore, sexual intercourse is a sacred union of two people who are married. God's intention for husband and wife is monogamy, meaning a defined God ordained union; physical, mental and sexual between one man and one woman. However, because we are all sexual beings whether married or not ,we need to work out how we can express these sexual desires in accordance with Scripture. Matthew 5:27-28 Jesus says "You have heard that it was said, Do not commit adultery. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. “Here we see that Jesus broadens the possibility of sexual sins to include more than just coitus situations. He widens the sin to include minds as well. Even though Jesus is talking about adultery in this passage it is very clear that Jesus has raised the issue that the mind has the propensity to sin sexually as well as the body. It appears that if our minds are lustfully associated with another person and that person is not married to us then we can be committing a sexual sin.

 

From this we can say that oral sex (stimulating the partner with the mouth) within marriage would seem okay. However, true love considers the desires of our partners. Therefore, to force our partner to perform an act they are uncomfortable with or considered "dirty" would not be showing true godly love for that person. Sure a man and woman's body belongs to the other person but this does not mean we abuse the relationship by forcing a desire that the other person is not yet ready to engage. You may find the issue relates to other areas of the relationship than your lovemaking. Often discussions with your partner as to the reasons why a certain sexual act is not deemed acceptable can open the door to greater sexual expression in your marriage. . Oral sex and/or stimulation using fingers may provide an avenue for a joyous sexual relationship. 

 

However, as with all sin we are not condemned if we cross the line and venture into oral sex because of God's grace that he offers. See Ephesians 2:8-9 "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith---and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God---not by works, so that no one can boast." If it becomes clear that we cannot control our desires for another person and wish to have oral or normal sexual relations then we need to consider the prospect of marriage as a way forward. See 1 Corinthians 7:9 "But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion