WHEN LOVE TURNS TO HATE .

I have been in and out of relationships  .Breaking up with a partner can sometimes be traumatic. Even though you saw it coming or made it happen yourself, you may not be ready for the impact of the break-up. Suddenly you are alone and no longer part of a couple. It feels like a giant missile burst up on your life crushing your dreams and aspirations, leaving your daily existence a strange and difficult place to be.  So when I hear 'I wish him dead, "I wish him dead, I hope he dies soon', I do understand where that's coming from. But in all honesty many don't mean what they utter but the anger, hurt, insecurity, sadness, depression, self-revulsion and rage. in them that talk.

How can we go from - loving someone so much we marry them, have kids with them, spend the best years of our lives with them... - then turn around to hate them so much, we wish them dead. How can a love so deep turn so easily into the most intense hatred? What happens?

You find some divorced couples who can't stand the sight of each other and some actually go out of their way to try to bring the other down. And you wonder, was there ever love between these people?

The feelings after a break-up may be overwhelming. The difficult part is that there are no ground rules for recovering, healing and moving on. From the rubble, you have to pick up the pieces and move on.

 Firstly you have to deal with anger. It is good to acknowledge the feelings of anger at first but it is best not to act on them. So you must release all that pent up rage somehow.  The good thing is that, like all negative emotions that are expressed, these emotions will also fade away. Meanwhile you have to find your own stress busters  and FORGIVE

Forgiveness is primarily for you.

Forgiveness allows you to let go of anger, resentment and bitterness.

Forgiveness helps you live more fully in the present moment.

Forgiveness frees you for new experiences—including a new love relationship

To deal with a break up : Accept why it happened, Understand why it ended, Give yourself time to mourn and pick up the pieces of your shattered life, Redirect your life and move on to a better and happier life , Set new goals ,Throw away objects that remind you of the ex ,Treat yourself gently - Pamper yourself with your favorite food, wine, sporting events, music, movies, vacation etc. Dress well, eat well, Surround yourself with happy, positive people .

Most especially Remember why it didn’t work , accept your sadness and be very kind to yourself ,Count your blessing every day - Take every day as a miracle with so many things to thank God for. It shifts focus from what you have,  away from  what you don’t have. Compliment yourself - Make a list of your good qualities and remind yourself of them  often, to feel positive about yourself.

WE DON'T HAVE TO HATE .